The two months of Halloween at Disneyland are almost over (and good thing too, because if I hear Grim Grinning Ghosts one more time I'm going to go postal). There is snow on the castle already, even though it was 93 degrees yesterday. After over a month of not having to get emotional while at work, it's starting all over again.
Last year, when my cousin Maddi did the college program at Walt Disney World, she sent our whole family a video she made as a Christmas gift, encouraging all of us to remember how lucky we were to have those we loved so near during that beautiful season. She spent her Christmas alone, all the way across the country, working. I remember imagining her loneliness and then reminding myself that I'd never have to spend a Christmas away from home until I am married and have my own little family. Now I face the semi-horrific realization that my fate will be the same as Maddi's. On Christmas, the one holiday that focuses the most on familial ties and the importance of love, I will be alone.
However, as much as my family IS the cornerstone in my life and can never be replaced, I have some other small families now that have nourished me and helped me to grow. I have neighbors who will wake up extra early on a day when I work two hours before anyone else does to make sure I get fresh pancakes and eggs before I leave. I have a roommate who makes me do only half-kidding "wrist checks" on days when she knows I'm depressed and pulls me off the couch to dance around the living room to One Direction songs. I have friends who will walk around downtown with me on a lazy fall night and wander into the nearby ice rink to watch a hockey game while wearing pajamas and flip flops. I have friends who will talk with me about God, about our futures, about love and about how I deserve much more than I'm settling for. I have friends who'd rather watch old Danny Phantom episodes or The Princess and the Frog or bake muffins and play guitar than go out and get drunk. I have people who know me and my needs more than I know myself.
I miss my family. Their significance in my life can never be exaggerated. But I am grateful for all the people who've stepped in to temporarily fill their places, to make sure I get fed and have a full tank of gas and don't sit home alone watching Family Guy every night. As hard as it is to face the Christmas season alone, it's almost even harder to imagine eventually losing all of the people I've become so close to in these last couple of months. I hope my whole life goes something like this. It's the most incredible feeling in the world to know that, even as I struggle, there is always someone who will bring me In N Out and make me laugh so hard, I forget about everything else. Most of them will never read this. But if you do, thank you.
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