Choice: Happiness

I don't know about you guys, but my life is pretty stressful.  Like, I have two jobs and a boyfriend and a business finance class (ick) which if I pass will lead to my readmission to a CSU in the fall (double ick) and rent to pay and The Walking Dead to catch up on and hamsters to feed and friends to flake on and SO MUCH STRESS.  I'm being a little overdramatic, but you get it.  Here are some thoughts and examples of finding "happy places" that I was thinking over earlier.

1. It doesn't have to be a PHYSICAL place, so
2. a TV show.  The Pokémon animated series is now on Netflix, FYI, and I'm pretty sure they can never take Family Guy away from us.
3. a song or album.  If you don't have one, try John Mayer's Stop This Train.  All of his music is generally soothing, but this song will change everything.  Trust me.
4. a food?  Really though, as fat as that sounds, sometimes things can be fixed simply with an entire box of Kraft mac n' cheese all for yourself or a tub of Ben and Jerry's or a box of Girl Scout cookies.  Bonus points for nostalgia: eating something you liked when you were a kid or had on a particularly happy occasion is the BEST.
5. okay, a physical place too; mine include a park bench at Venice Beach, the zoo, the animation studios in Disney California Adventure, and Sprinkles Cupcakes, to name a few.  The best one is home.  I'm fortunate to have two that make me very happy, my cozy little Anaheim apartment and my warm, beautiful Salida home.  If your home isn't one of your happy places, you're doing something wrong.
and 6. my favorite, a memory.  Because you can't always put headphones on or run to the grocery store or spend a day in bed watching movies.  Memories can't be taken away or corrupted, unless we alter them ourselves.  When they're bad memories, sometimes that's the only way to cope.  But the good ones, the good ones can be a light on our darkest days.  The ones in which you're sitting in your living room with your family, watching Modern Family and eating chocolate cake, your dog asleep with her head in your lap.  The ones in which you take a quiet, warm-weather evening walk and come home with a handful of lilacs and some pure, honest poetry.  The ones in which you and your best friend get lost floating down the river and walk what might be three hours to get back to the truck, sunburnt and dusty and stomachs sore from laughing.  The one in which a trusted friend, grown from high school emo companion to beautiful, independent woman, is walking down the aisle to Weezer's Island In The Sun, and he's holding you close and quietly singing the words in your ear, and at that EXACT moment you know you could never be happier with anyone else, and that you can't wait for the day when you're the one walking down the aisle and he's the one standing at the end of it, beaming back at you.

These are my happy places.  It's hard to share them with you, because they're mine and none of you will ever see them like I did.  But I hope they help you find your own.  Happiness is a right.  You deserve it.

January's baaaack

I started making New Years resolutions when I was probably like 8 years old.  I don't know.  I like lists and the idea was so romanticized that my little innocent brain didn't know any better.  I remember scribbling something on a napkin in a restaurant in San Diego and hiding it in the pocket of my denim Barbie jumper because if I told my family it wouldn't come true (that's how New Years resolutions work, right?)  Anyway, no one tells you how hard it gets to write them as an adult.  Teenage me had it the easiest.  I don't really remember my lists but here are some examples of things I imagine may have been included:

1.  Stay skinny!
2.  Don't fail algebra again
3.  Tell Jack Cooke from drama that you love him (now you know, Jack Cooke)
4.  See My Chemical Romance in concert (okay, this is still on my list as an adult, moving on)
5.  Become famous!

Really though.  That's what it was like.  Now things are so different.  For some adults the lists are probably really long and involve a lot of money spent.  I don't really know how I'm going to pay my rent next month, let alone go see a concert in Vegas or travel to France.  I can't afford a personal trainer or a new car.  "Becoming famous" is no longer this magnificent sugary dream where like a fiery limo chariot driven by Jesus of Nazareth and Johnny Cash just picks me up outside a Walmart and asks if I want to be a rockstar.  Now, now that things are a little hard and a little jaded and a little broken, reality is what drives my resolve.

So as I sit here eating my Easy-Mac and Dr. Pepper last supper, because would it KILL me to prepare a meal that requires more than ten minutes in the kitchen, I focus on just controlling and changing the little things I can.  It would probably be good if I resolved to always brush my teeth before falling asleep.  I could probably manage to not get a ticket this year, and not to intentionally crash my car.  I could probably not get addicted to heroin or resort to exotic dancing to pay the bills.  I could MAYBE go for a run every other week without dying (although the results haven't come back from the lab on that one yet.  Standby until swimsuit season).  There are a few others brewing in my brain but I think that's probably enough for this year.  Instead of wasting a ton of money, time and energy on goals we most likely will never reach, let us spend our time cultivating good karma, loving each other, singing Abba in the car and just holding out until tomorrow.  Tomorrow, be it the first of January or the 23rd of August, is where your new life starts.  Tomorrow will always be better.

This is too similar to my last post but I'm posting it anyways

Every year around Thanksgiving I make a list of 100 things I'm sincerely, deeply, I-would-die-without-this grateful for.  This can take literally like six days and many iPhone notes (ex. me while driving: "Siri, can you make a note for me? Write 'thankful for green lights when I'm late for work'").  But although I am just as grateful as in years past, I don't have that kind of time.  So here are 50 things off the top of my head, in no particular order, that I am grateful for and you should be too.

1. fireworks
2. wet puppy noses
3. Disneyland snow
4. Febreeze
5. ballet flats that fit in purses
6. candy cane ice cream
7. job security
8. Kristen Wiig
9. cheap gas
10. a supportive family
11. extension cords
12. sunglasses that don't break within 3 months
13. iPhone maps
14. people who cook things
15. Netflix
16. having a couch AND a TV
17. warm beach days
18. fireplaces
19. non-itchy sweaters
20. air conditioning
21. a fast metabolism
22. luck
23. superglue
24. good morning kisses
25. vivid sunsets
26. farmers markets
27. good eyesight
28. Elton John
29. hardcover books
30. airplanes that aren't freezing cold
31. holidays I can spend with family
32. free food
33. forgiveness
34. Christmas lights
35. T.S. Eliot
36. magicians
37. Goodwill
38. carpet stain remover
39. handmade quilts
40. good spellers
41. blueberry bagels
42. double-ply toilet paper
43. Target
44. never having to go through a breakup ever again
45. smile wrinkles
46. dishwashers
47. big, leafy trees
48. candlelight
49. Nutella
50. peace

May your holidays be filled with time-and-a-half paychecks, family card games and extra-thick socks!

Taking Stock

Today I'm taking a page from my blogger idol, Sydney Poulton of thedaybookblog.com.  This one's gonna be a doozy, but I'm trying to catch up.  Sorry for my slacking!

Making: tea currently, because yelling at people at Disneyland all day really wears on your throat
Cooking: those $1 pasta sides.  Every night.  Over and over.
Drinking: pumpkin spice lattes, God's gift to fall and every legging-loving white girl
Reading: mostly schedules, shift trade requests and tweets.  But I did read The Sun Also Rises a month ago, trying to finish up all my Hemingway
Wanting: MORE TIME
Looking: for a new phone case for my iPhone 5c.  I no longer am finding pieces of screen glass in the pockets of my pants and that is such a beautiful thing
Playing: Star Wars: Force Unleashed II with Chris and finishing the whole game in one night.  Like the champions/losers we are.
Wasting: the very little spare time I have doing things like watching and copying Jessica Rabbit makeup tutorials (which require covering your eyebrows with glue.  DO NOT ATTEMPT)
Sewing: haha
Wishing: again, that I had more time.  To read books and create music and call my mom and love my boyfriend and eat real food.  Someday.
Enjoying: the cooler weather... NOT because IT DOESN'T EXIST
Waiting: for the glorious day I don't have to work two jobs to stay alive anymore
Liking: seeing Halloween everywhere :)
Wondering: when I can go home and see my puppy again
Loving: taking naps together with the back door cracked open to feel the breeze and waking up with his arms still around me, the sun just setting golden on the bedroom wall.
Hoping: that the moments like that can last forever.
Marveling: at how often I manage to make it to work on time, despite my procrastination and/or short intervals between jobs.  Jesus can control traffic lights, let me tell you
Needing: just one day off.  Just ONE.
Smelling: cookies, because my new roommate makes a batch a week.  This is gonna work out well.
Wearing: the cool hoodies Chris left at my house once like every time I go to the grocery store at night.  Sorry babe :)
Following: my dreams.  Follow me, Shea Julie on soundcloud.com  :)
Noticing: everyone my age getting married or having babies.  But I'm just a kid still.  And I'm okay with that.
Knowing: that someday, I'll miss all this.
Thinking: that even as busy as I am, I have a beautiful life.
Feeling: so grateful for all of the people that keep me going day to day.  I am so blessed to know so many people that love me much more than I deserve.
Bookmarking: recipes and Pinterest DIY projects, for a day when I have more people to care of than just myself.
Opening: the door to my room and finding the boy I love asleep in my bed, waiting for me.
Giggling: with the people I love, every day, on lunch breaks and phone calls, over pizza and clever texts.  Giggling like I haven't since before I can remember.
Feeling: HAPPY.

10 Things You Probably Have a Love/Hate Relationship With About Me

1.  I don't post on my blog.  Get over it (but also I'm deeply sorry).
2.  I saw One Direction in concert.  In a $90 seat that sold out over a year ago.  I'm expecting two different reactions to this news so I will address both:
No, I am not a raging 1D fan, I did not buy the tickets, and I was forcibly coerced into going by my best friend, and
Yes, it was pretty awesome.
3.  This whole "free Chipotle because I work there" thing has escalated to the point that I will LITERALLY vomit if I try to eat it.  So yes, I am on my deathbed.  If you wish to send me flowers/chocolate/large sums of money please contact me for further details.
4.  I spent a week in Hawaii with my family which, I won't lie, was amazing BUT
5.  I am currently so tan that instead of the usual polite "Do you speak Spanish" at Disneyland
I am now just immediately accosted with rapid-fire questions.  This happens at least every 20 minutes.  It is kind of funny but also completely out of control.  I took 2.5 years of B-grade high school Spanish.  It's not happening.
6.  Don't have time to work out?  No problem!!!  With two jobs and a relationship and friends visiting and housing issues, (imminent) ulcers will do the job for you! *sponsored ad*
7.  Since my boyfriend brought me a TV and his PS3, I spend my free time binge-watching Pretty Little Liars on Netflix and I hate it so much.  Productivity in my free time is laughably nonexistent.
8.  I turned 21 and now all I have to look forward to is being able to rent a car when I'm 25 :(
9.  I'm already bored of this blog post, are you
10.  See ya in a few weeks!  Or whatever, you know.  Not good with commitment.

xo

Religion for the Nonreligious

So there's this movie called Constantine.  Maybe you've heard of it and maybe you should definitely see it.  It has Keanu Reeves and Shia LaBeouf and a handful of other splendid actors in it, and it's basically about this fallen angel who tries to redeem himself by sending demons back to hell and stopping the devil's son from being born to a mortal woman with the help of the angel Gabriel.

OKAY.  COOL.

One of the concepts Constantine introduces is the existence of half-breeds, which are either angels or demons who live in our world, sort of "influence peddlers".  They walk among us to give us courage or to tear us apart.  I'm pretty sure I don't believe in demons taking human form on earth, but lately I've been recognizing the angels around me.

How can I deny it?  There's the manager at Chipotle who tirelessly makes sure I am always out on time to make it to Disneyland, even coming in over an hour early himself to count my drawer when I'm cashier.  There's the kind old coworker at Autopia who, when he found out I was sick and was concerned I wasn't eating, disappeared for a moment and came back with a cup and plate to share his vitamin water and cashews with me.  There's the friend who sends me random Family Guy clips to tell me she misses me, the friend who checks up on me every time I tweet something negative, the friend who makes sure I've put my college applications in, the friend who sends me a Facebook message just to tell me she's thinking about me and hopes I'm having a better day than the day before.  There's the cousin who makes sure I'm making blog posts and still makes me feel like I'm a part of her life even though she's married and we're three states away.  There's the sister who sends unsolicited playlists of beautiful music, the mother who sends care packages with Easter baskets and Les Mis and chocolate, the father whose prayers I can feel, the brother who lightens my day with text messages like "I don't have to dance in Be Our Guest anymore cuz I was at church instead of rehearsal on Sunday! #perksofbeingamormon".  There's the boyfriend who is always there and always supportive and always loving and always the most incredible thing I have ever found, surprising me with dinner just because he can or bringing me an entire pharmacy when I have a cough or pretending that I'm doing fantastic when I'm standing in the 50 MPH batting cage freaking out and not hitting a single ball.

And those are only a few of them.

Maybe none of these people have wings.  Maybe they grew up in dingy apartments in downtown L.A. or made mistakes that kept them from showing their face in church for long, painful months.  Maybe they struggle to pay their bills and their dad's chemotherapy costs and have to take the bus to work every day.  Maybe they have tattoos and addictions and their own half-breed demons to deal with.  Maybe they don't even believe in God.  But they are angels, at least to me.

In the end, we all can be and probably are someone's angel.  So do something nice today, if even just for a stranger.

This concludes this public service announcement.

Clint Eastwood time

THE GOOD:
- both my hamsters are still alive (and safely caged)
- being able to afford to attend two weddings in two weeks, both 6 hours of travel away
- having a new car that gets such incredible gas mileage compared to the truck that I cry every time I'm at the gas station
- DR. PEPPER (it's in my genes, you can't blame me)
- having BOOKS on my bookshelf again, one of my favorite parts of going home and coming back

THE BAD:
- living with someone who I so greatly dread coming in contact with that I won't even leave my room to pee when she's home
- feeling a little bit vindicated when said person tells me she has to move back home because she's broke
- dropping my phone face first and completely shattering the screen the likes of which the iPhone world has never seen  :(

THE UGLY:
- my hair after working 4 hours at Chipotle under an ugly sweaty hat and then driving 6 hours with my Giants snapback on.  The first words my mother said to me when I woke up the next morning: "You NEED to wash your hair."
- when your jeans are SO TIGHT in the calf area that the nice Asian lady who gave you a pedicure uses her entire body weight to try and roll them back down and actually apologizes to you because she can't do it
- my mother and I borderline sobbing together when I opened my car door to drive back to Anaheim and my puppy jumped in the front seat, thinking she was coming along

The good list could have gone on for hours.
But I don't want to bore you.
Nobody likes seeing other people happy.
:)